I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
