My nipple is on Facebook.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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