I'm jealous of your bromance
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize