Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
