Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
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