I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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