Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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