How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
