im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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