Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
being pregnant is like rehab
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
