I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
