Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
