im having a threesome with these popsicles
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
