im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
