i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
