a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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