You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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