There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
