I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
