she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
