so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Too much gin, very little bucket
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
how drunk are you?
Several
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize