Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
