I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
