I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
