Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
