My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
