i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
