What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
