I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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