WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
