and she was petting her beer can
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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