Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
