I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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