Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
