During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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