okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
