Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you would pick up someone in the library
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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