He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
