We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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