Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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