I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
