So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
