I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
