I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
