you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
