I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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