I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
