I want to stick my p in your. b.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
