p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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