Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
