Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
