I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
