he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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