CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
