In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
