Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize