dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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