your thong is hanging out like whoa
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
