I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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