Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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