i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
