Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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