I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Please don't give away my fajitas
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
