apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
