no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
