addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
