carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
