im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
