And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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