It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
