their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
