Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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