I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
