i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize