I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
