Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
