She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
