Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
