Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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